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Sometimes life moves in interesting ways... it's my senior year, its supposed to be the happiest time of my life. Instead with the exception of Joe my year has sucked.
Karen got pregnant and I had all of those issues. Then she went into the hospital to have Merak prematurely, which for a few days we didnt know if either of them were going to make it. Since he's been in the hospital both of my parents have stayed in Shreveport and I've practically had to live by myself. I cant seem to come up with any kind of valid plan to move to Lufkin which is what I want more than anything in the world. And now I just spent the last few days sitting in a hospital room with my family while my great-grandfather laid on his deathbed. Sometimes it just seems like the whole world is caving in. I know that I'm actually lucky, I've got so many blessing in my life that a lot of kids dont have. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side though. Joe was so amazing this weekend. The poor man didnt get any kind of sleep. He'd come over as soon as we got home from the hospital which was usually around 10 p.m. and he left between 1 and 2 a.m. It was so nice to have him there, it seems like when he isnt around I feel like theres nowhere to turn and I'm alone, but when he's around its like I'm calm and can get strength from him. And suddenly things dont feel so bad and I feel like everything will be alright. I cant wait until the day that I can finally be with him. It hasnt even been 72 hours since I saw him last and I already miss him so much it hurts... I know that everything will be alright in the end. It just seems like everything is piling up around me. I'm sure it will all calm down soon. We may be able to bring Merak home on Thursday so thats really good. He's almost 7 pounds now and getting cuter by the day. Click Here for the newest pictures. I know that this entry probably doesnt have any substance at all but its something I guess. Written on 2004-05-09 @ 3:33 a.m. |