|
Current Archives Private Misc. Contact Extra's Comment |
Well I'm off to Diboll at some point today.
I'm kind of hoping that me and Joe actually go out on a date tonight. But more than likely 1 of 2 things will happen. 1) he'll come over and play cards with me and my family or 2) he'll come and get me and we will proceed to rent a movie and go back to his house where we will lay in the floor so that I can give him a back massage and he will cuddle with me for about 10 minutes before falling asleep for a few hours and waking me up around 1:30 to take me home. Come on admit it, your jealous I can feel it. Normally I'm not a very demanding girlfriend in the least. But the next 2 nights will be spent with him but with 50 other familiy members as well and I'd kind of like some time to spend just me and him. But I can be satisfied laying around the house as long as its just us I guess, just might be kind of nice to actually go somewhere for a change. It will be kind of nice to have him for the entire weekend though. Or at least in theory I will. Saturday night he has a concert at 6 so I'm going to that with him, and some of my other family members as well I imagine. And after that the rest of the family is going over to nan's to have a 4th of july thing over there, so I dont know if we are going to that or not. You know on a completely different note, I dont think that I have ever dressed up for anything as much as I've found myself dressing up lately. Even when I went on dates it was rare that I wore anything other than nice jeans and a sweater... Suddenly I find myself looking through the dresses anytime I go shopping. Its like ever since he started this group I've all of a sudden felt like I had to be something else or hold up this image like its expected of me. Suddenly I'm this gospel singers girlfriend and I'm supposed to look a certain way and know exactly what to say and do in every situation. Weird how it seems like there's always some kind of face that we let everyone see. For as long as I can remember I've had to think about what I was going to say and do etc. First there was always the family you had to make sure that you impressed, and then even in high school I had a few friends but they were mostly the friends that would talk to you like your sisters or something to your face and as soon as you walked away they were talking about you. It was never just any single person of the group singled out either, it was pretty much an everybody thing. So I was always watching what I said raound them because I didnt want another bam fiasco on my hands. 1 friend happened to be with me when he stopped by one night and by the next 2 days every person in the school new that I was dating the schools army recruiter. And now I have to put on this front for his family and friends. I have to be the sweet innocent 18 year old girlfriend with no problems what-so-ever... wow that was a really long rant that wasnt supposed to be in there. But I also dont have the desire to go through there and delete it. Sunday will be spent hanging around playing cards in the afternoon and then doing the whole fireworks thing at night. And Monday I have to go register for angelina sometime before we go home. Well anyway, I'm going to go get some stuff ready so that maybe we can leave at a decent hour today. Sorry for all of the ranting up there, feel free to skip it if you want! Written on 2004-07-02 @ 10:20 a.m. |