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The last 2 days of actual school work are here, this time next week I'll have already stepped onto this campus for the last time ever.
Part of me is terrified, what if I screw up, what if I make all of the worst decisions and have to come back home like a beaten dog with my tail between my legs... I realize that the chances of that happening are slim. I'm going to do alright, i've broken everything down into one decision at a time and its not so overwhelming. But as it draws closer the excitment of it all weighs out the scary part. I'm so ready to move on with my life and take everything to that next level. My relationship with Joe will move up and get more serious (not to mention probably speed up as well). And I'll move to Lufkin which will help in the relationship as well. (I'm so tired of only seeing him once every 2 weeks, so when we'll be able to see eachother every day it will make everything much easier.) I'll also be closer to some of the friends that I rarely get to see so that will be really nice. I called Angelina the other day and found a loophole in my whole apartment issue. I cant stay in the dorms because they are reserved for athletics, so the college will give me a letter saying that I'm a student at the school and am unable to stay in the dorms and dont have family close enough to comute. Apparently most of the local apartments will make an exception for ajc students despite the fact that I'm 17, plus the fact that it will only be for 3 months. So I should be able to get my own apartment which takes a lot of the weight of finding a place to live off my shoulders. The only downfall is moving away from my parents and Merak. I dont really want to move out on my own, but at the same time I feel like its whats best for me. Plus my parents are considering moving into the area with me in a few months so I'll be able to see them all on a regular basis again which will be great. So despite all of my 'good-lord-i'll-never-make-it-out-in-the-big-bad-world-alone' routines, everything is working out. I'll be with joe, in a town that I love, going to college to get my basics and spending lots of time with family and everyone else that means so much to me. Life is good. Written on 2004-02-10 @ 12:40 a.m. |