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Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2004 22:48:50 0500
From: Ann-Marie I sent you the last e-mail, just quiet because you hadnt written back. you were pissed when we quit talking last night so i figured you would want some time to cool down without rehashing it all... i'm sorry that you dont like the fact that i'm not coming up there. but doing so would be by far the stupidest decision i could ever make. For the first time since I was 12 years old I'm with somebody who doesnt see me as simply a sex object. I'm with someone who isnt afraid to commit to me even though I'm only 17 and who isnt ashamed of being involved with me. If I came down there I'd be throwing that away. all so that I could spend 2 days with you, and then i'd come home and be alone. and you already made it clear that we never had nor never will have a relationship. you'll still be with tonya and whoever else you find up there to satisfy you, and i'll still be expected to wait right here being faithful and true even if you arent. I'm sorry but I'm not going to throw away my chance at being happy for your sexual gratification. I dont regret a minute of the year we had, to me it was a whole lot more than just sex even if it meant nothing at all to you. But your in Maryland now, and still with Tonya. I'm down here and Still with Joe. None of that is going to change and I'm really sorry that all of a sudden you find yourself not being able to have your cake and eat it too. But you made your decision to keep our relationship 'just sex' long before i moved on. ~ann-marie~ Wow, I guess thats it... a year and a half of my life just closed right before my eyes. Its weird though, because I fought so hard to keep holding onto that link. Overlooking all of the bad things he did, all of the times he hurt me all of the times I just sat back and let him walk over me. But suddenly it just felt right to let go. There was no warning or anything, I just hung up the telephone with him after our latest 'argument' and sat there for a minute thinking how stupid all of this really was... Now I feel a whole lot better. If I can only get this problem with Michael sorted out I'll be all set to go! I get so irritated that when I'm single and unattached I am lonely and cant seem to get a guy for anything. Suddenly I've got the greatest boyfriend ever and they are all crowding me begging me to break. Or is it just me that this ends up happening to??? Written on 2004-03-31 @ 9:56 p.m. |