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Good Monday everyone, I'm sorry for the lack of updates this weekend but I've been extremely busy for the most part. Joe's visit went really well. We spent most of Friday night cuddling on the couch watching a movie and holding hands. Saturday was spent riding around looking at new trucks that he's considering and going out to lunch. I still havent gotten that kiss and it's been over a month but he actively held my hand all the time which is a step in the direction of progress. After Friday night I realized that I'm really starting to like him so much more than I did before. It was so comfortable laying on the couch with my head on his shoulder and it was so nice to be able to walk out of my bedroom Saturday morning and see him sitting in the living room smiling at me. I'm definantly at that point where if he was to walk away I would be devestated. That also scared me a good bit. I have a history of being hurt pretty badly. Just about every time I get to a point where I'm happy and get comfortable it seems like something happens and before I know it it's been jerked from under me and I end up hurt. I dont want to be hurt by this, I've been interested in him for over 2 years, and now it's gotten to where I cant see myself without him. When I imagine my future and what might happen I cant picture myself with anyone else. I've dated a lot of guys that I've never been able to see myself with, but when I'm with Joe I know that that I could wake up next to him every morning and think that I'm the luckiest person in the world to have found him. The scary part for me was not knowing how he feels. Luckily enough he talked to my mom for almost an hour last night and the conversation was really helpful. He told her a lot of things and most of it wasnt really too big of a deal mostly just general conversation. But there were a few high points. He told her that he wants to start his own business one day, and eventually get to the point that "if she wants to stay at home with our kids I want her to be able to." He asked he what he could get me for christmas and told her that he wanted to get me something really special that I would want. He said that he would get me anything from jewelry down, but that he wants it to be something that I really want and that since this was our first christmas he wants it to be really special. I think that she's going to suggest a promise ring which would be really special and would let both of us know that we were commited to one another and arent going to go anywhere. He told her that he really enjoyed this weekend and that he really liked me a lot and couldnt wait until he could come back and spend more time with me. It's really nice to know that we're pretty much on the same page. I'm so happy that it's almost unreal, I never thought that this day would come. That there would finally be a time in my life that we could be together and now we are. I cant even imagine what my life would be like without him now. << ~ >> Written on 2003-12-08 @ 10:06 a.m.

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