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Okay I realize that I'm still caught up on this and that it should have been resolved the other day but the issue is on my mind again therefore I'll write about it. Just for the record there are a number of things that I want to write about and havent had the time so chances are there will be many updates in the next few days about things that have been on my mind. Bam called me again tonight. I havent heard from him since that entry but apparently he was lonely and needed someone to talk to. Now normally I'm all for being friends after a break up. I have the opinion that after a realationship that lasts a year there is no way that you can part company and never speak again, unless of course your parting on bad terms. So when he calls I dont mind talking with him, sometimes its nice to talk to someone from the past and remember etc. But my rule is that the past stays the past, just because we were once a couple does not give you the right to hit on me and make blatant passes knowing that I have a boyfriend I'm more than happy with. Thats crossing the fine line between friend and someone who needs their ass kicked. So he called tonight and he was doing really well for a while, then suddenly things took a turn for the worse... He asked me to come spend the weekend in Maryland with him. Said that he would buy me the round trip ticket to come spend about 4 days with him. This pissed me off for a number of reasons. 1: Can we say Joe? yeah you know that guy that i'm in love with who would have an absolute cow if he knew that you were even considering the idea. 2: This is probably the most important one. We were together for 1 year. He had plenty of opportunities to ask me to spend the night with him, and on occassion I even asked if I could. The answer was always no. He had to get up early or he didnt feel like company. Regardless of the excuse there always was one. It was fine for me to come over for a few hours, watch a movie for about 30 minutes, have sex which lasted about 5 minutes and if I was lucky he would cuddle with me for about 10 before saying he was "tired" at which point I'd get up get dressed and leave without complaining. (okay so I did gripe some but who wouldnt?) The point is that throughout that entire span of 1 year I was never good enough to spend the night with, regardless of how convienient it would have been. And now suddenly after he's moved to Maryland he wants to spend $156 to fly me down there just to spend a few days with him??!!! Yes please let me risk everything that I have going for me now so that I can be your whore for 4 days. Its not even safe to say let me 'risk' everything, its more like 'let me throw everything i've worked so hard for away so that I might please your overactive penis'. I dont want to go, the thought never really crossed my mind and in fact I probably shouldnt have even written about it in here at all but it was really bothering me so I did... << ~ >> Written on 2004-03-23 @ 11:08 p.m.

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