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Afternoon everyone, I hope that everyone's Wednsday is going well. Is it bad that I'm ready for the weekend even though I have absolutely nothing at all planned? hopefully not... I guess I'm just getting so tired of school and all this other crap that I just want the weekend to relax. I'm sure that I'll come up with something to do. Speaking of Joe... what is it with all of the guys in my life? first bam pulls his crap Monday, and I get over that and decide to call Joe and talk to him. 1: because I missed him and 2: because he didnt answer my call on Sunday. So I called and talked to him for like 5 minutes, he was real short and generally 'stand-offish'. I felt like he was almost talking to me out of obligation rather than actually having an interest in me. I just kind of felt pushed out somehow. And then he went to Brenda & Sue's house and made some comment about how depressed he was and how nobody cared about him. Granted I'm sure he didnt mean it like that it really pissed me off... He could never find anyone else in this entire world who cared about him the way I do, I'd walk to the ends of the earth and back if he just asked me to... and he can sit there and say he isnt cared about? Just kind of really hurt my feelings. And so I tried to call him last night to talk to him and he didnt answer my call... I dont know whats going on. Friday and Saturday he was acting perfect like everything was fine, and all of a sudden it's like I'm more of a burden than something to be appreciated. I know that most of this is all because he lost his job and his boss went bankrupt without letting him know and pretty much just screwed him over. And I know that he's all manly and into the whole 'i must provide' thing so I try not to take it personally... but dang I'm supporting him the best I can, I listen to him gripe for hours and hold him when he's at his lowest point... I guess I'm just frustrated because he's hurting and there isnt anything that I can do about it or any advice that I can give... I dont like knowing that he's upset or in pain. Maybe I'll just back off and let him have his space, work through his problems and let him come to me... I swear as soon as I get one problem semi taken care of another one jumps out in front of me. It's like one of those damn arcade games where you have the hammer and all the different animals pop out of the holes. As soon as you smash one down 3 more pop up other places! I'm going to go play with designs and see if I cant bring myself out of this. Update: Joe finally pulled out of his slump and decided to call me. I didnt even have to bother calling him, which was nice. I swear I was so mad at him before he called that I could have spit nails... but the minute I answered the phone and heard him smile and say "what are you doin?" it was as if all the frustration just melted away and I go into automatic 'girl-mode' and get excited. And then I realize what just happened once I hang up and then I get frustrated with myself. I swear I dont know if I'm in love with him or just really naive and stupid. But in any sense, we are alright now. He threw his back out somehow and was laying there on the couch trying not to move. (which explains him not answering my call last night) and if he doesnt go out to Rosebud this weekend then we are going to see eachother. I think I might try and get him to come down here and go see 'passion' with me and my family. Written on 2004-02-25 @ 5:15 p.m. |